Board-Game: Most useless Piece of Dialogue in a Movie

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:20 pm

OK, what's the most useless piece of dialogue you can think of?
Movies that most people should at least know about count, if it's too obscure so other people probably never heard of it it does not count.

For Starters:
Rambo III(1988)
Hamid: What's that?
Rambo: It's blue light.
Hamid: What does it do?
Rambo: It turns blue.

Ravengm · Post by **Ravengm** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:40 pm

That's a lot of fish.

Doom · Post by **Doom** » Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:15 am

A seem to remember a few lines from Blue Crush:

Girl: "You are an asshole."

Guy: "I do what I do best, honey."

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat Oct 01, 2011 8:16 am

Never saw it, but caught a minute or two of Deep Blue Sea waiting for something else to come on today:

Black Guy: Hey, can I axe you something?
White Guy: sure
Black Guy: Are you sure there were only three sharks, not four?
White Guy: Yeah. *thinks a moment, removes feet from water*

Surgo · Post by **Surgo** » Sat Oct 01, 2011 7:54 pm

I'd highly suggest watching the rest of that movie, Prak. It is incredible.

shadzar · Post by **shadzar** » Sat Oct 01, 2011 8:04 pm

"This is Sparta"

really? i thought it was Mesopotamia.

Post by **fbmf** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:43 am

This far into the thread and nobody has mentioned Storm's "Toad" line from X-Men 1?

You guys are slacking.

Game On,
fbmf

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:22 pm

fbmf wrote:This far into the thread and nobody has mentioned Storm's "Toad" line from X-Men 1?

You guys are slacking.

Uselessness seems not to be about general fail and more about redundancy:

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull
Indy: Their treasure wasn't gold; it was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure.

Though I believe the gold standard comes from The Last Airbender
Yue: This time we show the fire nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs.

That line came out of a professional writer, and made it past at least one professional editor.

Fuchs · Post by **Fuchs** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:38 pm

angelfromanotherpin wrote: Though I believe the gold standard comes from The Last Airbender
Yue: This time we show the fire nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs.

That line came out of a professional writer, and made it past at least one professional editor.

Is that from the live action movie?

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:03 pm

Oh yeah. The animated series was way too quality for that level of bullshit.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:17 pm

It takes M.Night Shyamalan to really make a stinker that big.

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:22 pm

I was going to quote something from "Kung-Pow" but realized that in that movie, every other line is a good example.

Okay, here's one from "Spartan":

Scott: In the city always a refelection, in the woods always a sound.
Curtis: What about the desert?
Scott: You don't wanna go in the desert.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:03 pm

Punisher (2004)

The Punisher: I have work to do. Read your newspaper everyday and you'll understand.

Joan: Which section?

The Punisher: Obituaries.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:28 pm

The Star Wars prequels are like shooting fish in a barrel...

"I hate sand. it's hard and gritty and gets everywhere."

as well as

"Don't do it! I have the high ground!"

and

"You could at least thank me for saving your life for the tenth time"
"Nine times, Anakin. That business on Doortan doesn't count."

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:53 pm

Star wars prequel trilogy.

Oh Anakin, Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo; so long ago when there was nothing but our love. No politics, no plotting, no war. =

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:02 pm

Episode II was when George Lucas really got it into his head that he can actually write dialogue. Though, in context of this thread, the stuff he writes isn't any less useful than plenty of really good lines. It's just useless and also not entertaining.

Literally everything that happens on Naboo falls into the "useless and not fun" category. I can't be bothered to dig up exact quotes, but Anakin and Padme's discussions on politics paint Anakin as having the political sophistication of, like, a fifteen year old, as opposed to hinting at a looming darkness. Also, Palpatine's speech about the formation of the Empire from Episode III is about the least charismatic speech I've ever seen, even if it is technically plot-relevant. Padme has a good line in it, though.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 11:11 pm

One really stands out from Van Helsing. The protagonist's designated love interest gives an overly wordy spiel trash-talking her dead and defeated opponent about not gloating about how they're going to kill someone, just do it.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:22 am

Maxus wrote:The Star Wars prequels are like shooting fish in a barrel...

"I hate sand. it's hard and gritty and gets everywhere."

as well as

"Don't do it! I have the high ground!"

and

"You could at least thank me for saving your life for the tenth time"
"Nine times, Anakin. That business on Doortan doesn't count."

On the TV's at work, they have clips from the Star Wars movies on repeat. I had my coworkers cracking up with my impression of Anakin's line after the High Ground line.

"You understimate MY POOOOWWWWEEER!"

Terrible, just terrible.

Leress · Post by **Leress** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 1:14 am

From Transformers the Animated Movie:

Hot Rod: What was that universal greeting again, never mind I remember.

Also the whole "Dare to be stupid" song sequence when they meet Wrek-Gar.

Post by **fbmf** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:36 am

Leress wrote:From Transformers the Animated Movie:

Hot Rod: What was that universal greeting again, never mind I remember.

Bah weet. Gronna weet. Many bonn!

Also from that flick:

Me Grimlock need new strategy!

Game On,
fbmf

Orion · Post by **Orion** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 4:54 pm

Chamomile wrote:Anakin and Padme's discussions on politics paint Anakin as having the political sophistication of, like, a fifteen year old, as opposed to hinting at a looming darkness.

I dunno, I think that's actually fine characterization. He may be 19 or something, but he's spent most of his life in a monastery that is supposedly in some sense apolitical, and before that was a slave on a backwater world. When exactly was he going to develop sophisticated political values.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:28 pm

Orion: I think you should focus on the fact that Anakin doesn't correct Padme about there being *NO* wars, no wars, or no plotting.

Of course, let us not forget that Padme takes part in the senate and also her being a smart queen. Of course, by her thought process, we can tell that she isn't really a smart queen. Jar Jar is smarter than her.

Really, I think Jar Jar gets the short end of the stick. His actions are pretty decent. He acts as a competent General. While he does support palpatine for a short while, he goes ahead and gives a pretty good speech.

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:24 pm

Jar Jar didn't strike me as a competent general in the slightest, and clumsiness was his whole shtick. But he's not a bad senator, once you get past his speech impediment.

As far as Anakin and Padme are concerned...Yeah, you can make excuses as to how Anakin is really sheltered, but the point of the dialogue is supposed to be that he's on the road to becoming Darth Vader, so really he should at least have some halfway decent points to make about it. Having Darth Vader's humble origins as an 11 year old slave boy could've worked in an "even the greatest of villains were eleven once" kind of way, but having Darth Vader's whole backstory be "he's a political dunce and impulsively violent" is pretty damaging to Vader's image. And so is Hayden Christensen's acting, but this thread is about writing.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:50 pm

I've seen Hayden Christensen act in many other movies.
I've seen Natalie Portman act in many other movies.

The mess that is Starwars 2/3 is all about the writing and the Director. Hayden is actually a fine actor, and with the right direction would have been fine with Anakin. The problem is that Anakin is written badly, paced badly, and directed badly. You could be the worlds greatest actor, and you still couldn't make a turd like Starwars 2 be anything but a turd.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:10 am

I watched Episode II in Spanish (subbed English), and it's amazing how much better the dialogue sounds in another language.

The voice actors seemed to deliver more emotion than the actual actors, which shows how astoundingly bad a director Lucas is.

Also, the 80's Transformers movie came up with some pretty good lines, too, although I suppose that's getting off to another topic...